A few days ago I returned again to one of my favorite books – Walking on Water: Self-Esteem and a Journey of Faith* by Robert Ball. Earlier today I read the following words which I offer to you because they say exactly what I think needs to be said this day – at this time and in this place. With deep gratitude to Robert Ball:
So the mainline churches today are in a state of decline, both in numbers and in public respect. At the same time we’re witnessing an amazing growth of what are called Twelve-Step programs: communities modeled on Alcoholics Anonymous. Twelve-Step programs exist for many groups: the spouses of alcoholics, the children of alcoholics, compulsive gamblers, overeaters, those suffering from suicide in their families, drug abusers, the families of drug abusers, people reared in fundamentalist churches, ex-clergy, ex-prostitutes, and so forth.
Twelve-Step programs succeed by offering what people need most: a nurturing, accepting, supportive community. These programs are more like what the church is intended to be than are most churches. People who enter a Twelve-Step program do so acknowledging their needs. In both philosophy and structure, the programs are designd to discourage any efforts to look better than someone else. People who become members do so with the humbling acknowledgment that “I have a problem that has become uncontrollable in my life.” Thus the ideal for the church, the idea that “We’re all in this thing together,” is given actual, personal expression.
In my experience, these programs do strive for absolute acceptance. In the community they provide, the goal is to allow every participant to feel worthy and welcome. At the same time, no one is mollycoddled and told “That’s OK. Just do the best you can.” What evolves are communities of people who have found understanding and acceptance and who have understanding and acceptance to share with others. This allows all of them to grow in their sense of worth, their ability to handle their problems, and their ability to live.
Alongside the increasing popularity of the Twelve-Step programs, many people are registering their feelings of having been abandoned by their churches. Dissappointed and hurt with the churches’ failures to provide what they are charged to give, and what we need so desperately, many respond by reciprocating: abandoning the church. Unfortunately, those who leave sometimes carry with them their unresolved feelings of hurt and outrage. They may remain needy and needing, still unsure and doubting that there is any hope. In leaving they abandon, for themselves and for the world, what we all most need: a human community of love and acceptance that is able to put us in contact with a love and acceptance that are truly unconditional and eternal. In such a community there is hope. Nothing matters more. (146-148)
Again, I am reminded of my favorite line from Fred Kaan’s powerful hymn text, Help Us Accept Each Other: “Teach us to care for people, for all not just for some, to love them as we find them or as they may become.” That is our calling – and – that is where we find genuine hope!
*Ball, Robert. Walking on Water: Self-Esteem and a Journey of Faith. Palo Alto, CA: Science and Behavior Books, Inc., 1992.
tmitchellmusic 