The idea that we need to go down in order to get up, or backward in order to go forward is an important part of understanding the journey toward wholeness and health – the journey often involves the practice of taking three steps forward followed by two steps backward.

In this post I turn to some very important words of wisdom from my mentor, colleague, and friend Dr. William Loving* and his explanation of the Chinese finger trap:

CONTEMPLATING THE CHINESE FINGER TRAP

By William Loving, MD, ABAM

The first impulse to free yourself from a Chinese finger trap is to pull hard, but this only entraps you more. The way to get free is the opposite-give up the struggle. Likewise, brute force, strong determination, or sheer willpower do not work to free a person in the throes of chemical dependency. Nearly 20% of our population struggles with the dangerous and destructive central nervous system disorder of drug addiction and alcoholism. This disorder is often inherited but can be acquired, and is due to a particular primitive part of the brain that grossly overreacts to drugs that induce euphoria.

Divide the brain horizontally in half at the ears, and you have the neocortex above the ears which contains the higher functions such as logic, speech, thought, and willpower, while below the ears you have the primitive or instinctual brain. The key part of the brain involved in chemical dependency is just below the ears at the reward center (mesocorticolimbic system.) This reward or pleasure center registers the feeling of euphoria or “high”, and then reflexively urges you to repeat the experience that induced the pleasure. If the reward center overreacts, not only is the euphoria extremely intense, but the reflex urges are very powerful saying “DO IT AGAIN!”

Strong messages like this from the instinctual part of the brain overpower willpower, which is a function located above the ears in the neocortex. When a child says, “If you don’t let me have what I want I’ll hold my breath till I turn blue and die,” we are amused. We know the child will breathe in due time-the breathing center in the instinct actual brain stem will overcome the child’s willpower.

Drug addicts and alcoholics truly experience a more intense “high” because their reward center is overly sensitive or reactive to certain chemicals. Ask a non-alcoholic how alcohol makes them feel, and they will give an answer such as, “Oh, it makes me feel kind of loose and giddy�calmer and uninhibited maybe, but at three or four drinks I start to feel dizzy and out of control so I quit.” An alcoholic will answer, “It makes me feel GOOD and four drinks is great-five drinks is better-and six is better still so I keep drinking and lose count.” The alcoholic’s reward center is very stimulated; it says “DO IT AGAIN” repeatedly; they feel great; this primitive part of the brain is running the show and they become out of control. The neocortical functions such as logic, willpower, morals, and ethics are superseded by the strong reward center impulses. And what is more dangerous, the brain is disinhibited and the vital neocortical functions including insight and judgment are impaired by these same chemicals. The chemically dependent person feels the “high” while those around him or her only experience that person’s misbehavior due to the short-circuited neocortical functions.

So, do we have a reward center so cocaine, pot, alcohol, and opiates have a place to work? Of course not. The reward center is naturally stimulated by sex/intimacy, exercise, food, collecting/shopping, a job well done, and artistic/spiritual experiences. All of these categories of natural “highs” give us survival benefits, and yet isn’t it interesting that any one of these natural “highs” can create problems as well if compulsively overdone. Remember, there is Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, Over Eaters Anonymous, Debtors Anonymous, Workaholics, Compulsive Exercisers, and even a Fundamentalist Anonymous group. The natural “highs” when done in moderation, though, do not disinhibit the brain and impair the other neocortical functions, and so are less likely to become problems.

When chemically dependent people become out of control they are functioning very much like the primate in this monkey trap picture: ” …a coconut with a small hole in each end and fastened to the ground by wire or cord. Bait is placed inside. Monkey reached in, closes fist, and won’t let go even though he can’t pull fist through hole.”

This is an illustration from a World War II survival manual for downed pilots which instructs a hungry pilot how to catch a monkey for food. The trap uses the strength of the monkey’s instincts against him. The monkey will hold onto the food to the point of being captured rather than do the smart thing and let go. Chemically dependent people will hold on to their drugs and alcohol in the same manner to the point of great loss and even death. In this way, the supersensitive reward center, in the instinctual brain, takes over and controls the human’s life.

So what does all this have to do with the Chinese finger trap? Struggling and willpower won’t free a chemically dependent person any more than pulling can free a person from a finger trap. After willpower fails, and it always does in a true addict or alcoholic, the chemically dependent person has to use a different approach than their first impulse. They must stop fighting and accept their powerlessness. This is the first step of Alcoholics Anonymous Twelve Steps to recovery.

This surrender frees up a great deal of energy so that the person can accept help and make the profound changes necessary to recover. After this stage the power can shift to the functions of the neocortex to establish an ongoing, proactive, sobriety plan based on new information about the disorder. Now, effective skills and tips can be learned in treatment to manage the disorder. The person can find real power and freedom in the treatment axiom of “surrender to win,” just like freedom from the Chinese Finger Trap comes by doing the opposite of what you might think.

*This article and other important articles and information from Dr. Loving may be found at http://www.billlovingmd.com/

The dominant culture calls us into isolation – when the going gets tough the tough get going – have it your way – be all that you can be – just say no!  The truth is that wholeness and health are not found in isolation – wholeness and health are found in loving relationship – and – loving relationship is found in surrender.

Surrender is generally not understood as a positive word in our culture and society, but true surrender – surrender to a higher power – surrender to a loving relationship is the path to freedom – the path to wholeness and health.

That is much of the power found in the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and the remainder of the Anonymous family of fellowships.  The foundational understandings are outlined in the first three steps.  As it says in the Big Book:

We thought we could find an easier, softer way.  But we could not.  With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start.  Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely . . . Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery [a path toward wholeness and health]:

1.  We admitted we were powerless over alcohol [over life] – that our lives had become unmanageable.

2.  Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3.  Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

By letting go “absolutely” we fall into loving relationship, and loving relationship is where we find freedom – it is where we find wholeness and health – it is where we find life!

For more information about the Big Book visit http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/

In a recent post I mentioned Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life by Father Richard Rohr*.  I frequently refer back to it as the days come and go, and was reminded of its wisdom again this morning as I read today’s Daily Meditation** from Father Richard which includes these haunting words:

Often people will get very adamant about one or another moral issue which usually asks nothing of them, only of others.  Or they practice some ritual that asks very little of them in terms of real commitment or change.

Today’s meditation sent me yet another time to the book and I opened it to the place where Father Richard begins his discussion about how the way to go up is often to first go down.

The soul has many secrets.  They are only revealed to those who want them, and are never completely forced upon us.  One of the best kept secrets, and yet one hidden in plain sight, is that the way up is the way down.  Or, if you prefer, the way down is the way up.  This pattern is obvious in all of nature, from the very change of seasons and substances on this earth, to the six hundred million tons of hydrogen that the sun burns every day to light and warm our earth, and even to the metabolic laws of dieting or fasting.

Yet it is still a secret, probably becasue we do not want to see it.  We do not want to embark on a further journey if it feels like going down, especially after we have put so much sound and fury into going up.  This is surely the first and primary reason why many people never get to the fullness of their own lives.  The supposed achievements of the first half of life have to fall apart and show themselves to be wanting in some way, or we will not move further.  Why would we?

More thoughts on this subject in our coming posts – I hope you will join in the discussion.

*Rohr, Richard.  Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life.  San Francisco:  Jossey-Bass, 2011.

**http://cacradicalgrace.org/

A number of years ago I had my first encounter with Martin Bell’s Rag-Tag Army* and it has always been a favorite – and – words that almost always seem appropriate.

I think God must be very old and very tired.  Maybe he used to look splendid and fine in his general’s uniform, but no more.  He’s been on the march a long time, you know.  And look at his rag-tag little army!  All he has for soldiers are you and me.  Dumb little army.  Listen!  The drum beat isn’t even regular.  Everyone is out of step.  And there!  You see?  God keeps stopping along the way to pick up one of his tinier soldiers who decided to wander off and play with a frog, or run in a field, or whose foot got tangled in the underbrush.  He’ll never get anywere that way.  And yet, the march goes on.

Do you see how the marchers have broken up into little groups?  Look at that group up near the front.  Now, there’s a snappy outift.  They all look pretty much alike – at least they’re in step with each other.  That’s something!  Only they’re not wearing their shoes.  They’re carrying them in their hands.  Silly little band.  They won’t get far before God will have to stop again.

Or how about that other group over there?  They’re all holding hands as they march.  The only trouble with this is the men on each end of the line.  Pretty soon they realize that one of their hands isn’t holding onto anything – one hand is reaching, empty, alone.  And so they hold hands with each other, and everybody marches around in circles.  The more people holding hands, the bigger the circle.  And, of course, a bigger circle is deceptive because as we march along it looks like we’re going someplace, but we’re not.  And so God must stop again.  You see what I mean?  He’ll never get anywere that way!

If God were more sensible he’d take his little army and shape them up.  Why, whoever heard of a soldier stopping to romp in a field?  It’s ridiculous.  But even more absured is a general who will stop the march of eternity to go and bring him back.  But that’s God for you.  His is no endless, empty marching.  He is going somewhere.  His steps are deliberate and purposive.  He may be old, and he may be tired.  But he knows where he’s going.  And he means to take every last one of his tiny soldiers with him.  Only there aren’t going to be any forced marches.  And, after all, there are frogs and flowers, and thorns and underbrush along the way.  And even though our foreheads have been signed with the sign of the cross, we are only human.  And most of us are afraid and lonely and would like to hold hands or cry or run away.  And we don’t know where we are going, and we can’t seem to trust God – especially when it’s dark out and we can’t see him!  And he won’t go on without us.  And that’s why it’s taking so long.

Listen!  The drum beat isn’t even regular.  Everyone is out of step.  And there!  You see?  God keeps stopping along the way to pick up one of his tinier soldiers who decided to wander off and play with a frog, or run in a field, or whose foot got tangled in the underbrush.  He’ll never get anywhere that way!

And yet, the march goes on . . . .

*Bell, Martin.  “Rag-Tag Army.”  The Way of the Wolf: The Gospel in New Images.  New York:  Ballantine Books, 1970.  Pages 89-91.

Today I found myself searching for a writer who could help make it possible for me to speak what is on my heart – and with deep gratitude to Walter Brueggemann I offer these words from his book, Journey to the Common Good*.

The great crisis among us is the crisis of “the common good,” the sense of community solidarity that binds all in a common destiny – haves and have-nots, the rich and the poor.  We face a crisis about the common good because there are powerful forces at work among us to resist the common good, to violate community solidarity, and to deny a common destiny.  Mature people, at their best, are people who are committed to the common good that reaches beyond their private interest, transcends sectarian commitments, and offers human solidarity. (1)

So I begin this way:

— The journey to the common good in this text is a memory of the way in which ancient Israel moved from Pharaoh’s slave labor arrangements to the holy mountain of covenanting at Sinai.

— That journey, deeply remembered in ancient Israel, became the script and the itinerary that Jews, over many generations, have made, always again from Egyptian exploitation to the holy mountain.  The Jews make that journey, in liturgical imagination, over and over again, most visibly in the imaginative enterprise of Passover.

— Christians, in a derivative way, make that journey alongside the Jews, rooted in the same ancient memory.  Christians do so in the company of Jews, though of course we Christians are frequently tempted to imagine that the script belongs to us and not to Jews.

—  Jews, and along with them Christians, make an offer and issue an invitation to wider humanity to join the journey, because that hard trek is required not only by the particular passions of Jewishness or of Christian sensibility.  Rather, the journey to the common good is a trek that all serious human beings must make, a growth out beyond private interest and sectarian passion. (2)

*Brueggemann, Walter.  Journey to the Common Good.    Louisville:  Westminster John Knox Press, 2010.

How often have I heard that change is difficult?  Change disrupts life – change brings unexpected – and sometimes unwanted – things to life.  Change is hard – even when it is planned, desired, and good!

We have recently been in the process of moving from the duplex we have called home for the last five years to a house with more than twice the amount of space that we had in our previous dwelling – and – the new place is wonderful – at least we are confident that it will eventually be wonderful – as soon as everything has found a place in our new home and is there – and – all of the boxes have found their way to where they need to be.

Yes, it is a change that we planned, a change that we desired, a change that we made on purpose – but – it has still messed with our lives – including the writing of the posts for this blog.  My schedule has not been regular and I am finding out about muscles in my body that I did not even know existed before – especially since I am also participating in a new exercise and fitness program to improve my health which is also contributing to my sense of change – ARRRRRRRGH!!!

But soon all will be back to normal – or at least the new normal – if there is such a thing – and – once again I will be writing a post for this blog every other day – but today I just needed to vent a bit and let you know what is happening in my world.

Grace and peace

Many years ago – during the final term of my undergraduate program – I encountered the writing of Susanne K. Langer* in the last class I took prior to my graduation.  Her incredible understanding of the power of music has helped focus my understanding ever since – for that I am very grateful.  Following is some of her words that I have used many times since that first reading.

Because the forms of human feeling are much more congruent with musical forms than with the forms of language, music can reveal the nature of feelings with a detail and truth that language cannot approach. (235)

Quoting from composer Richard Wagner:  What music expresses, is eternal, infinite and ideal; it does not express the passion, love, or longing of such-and-such an individual on such-and-such an occasion, but passion, love or longing in itself, and this it presents in that unlimited variety of motivations, which is the exclusive and particular characteristic of music, foreign and inexpressible in any other language. (221-222)

The real power of music lies in the fact that it can be “true” to the life of feeling in a way that language connot; for its significant forms have that ambivalence of content which words cannot have.  This is, I think, what Hans Mersmann meant, when he wrote:  “The possibility of expressing opposites simultaneously gives the most intricate reach of expressiveness to music as such, and carries it, in this respect, far beyond the limits of the other arts.”  Music is revealing, where words are obscuring, because it can have not only a content, but a transient play of contents.  It can articulate feelings without becoming wedded to them. (243-244).

*Langer, Susanne K.  Philosophy in a New Key: A Study in the Symbolism of Reason, Rite, and Art.  Third edition.  Cambridge:  Harvard University Press, 1957.

I am indebted to Jacquelyn Small* for the following wonderful words and insights.  It has been my privilege to participate in a “musical journey” on a number of occasions and I am able to testify to the truth of these words from first hand experiences.  Thank you Jacquelyn.

Music is a powerful tool of transformation, not only psycho-spiritually, but physically as well.  It accesses cellular memories and other past physical wounding held within the body.  Research shows that music carves new neural pathways through the brain where memory and emotion converge.

Soul-journeying to music accesses your unconscious mind and heals past issues still needing conscious recognition and clearing.  While journeying through the inner landscape to music, you will access hard-to-reach memories and patterns that are holding dysfunctional attitudes and behaviors in place.  And this happens just naturally, as though the music itself is doing the work.  Often, old issues heal by just passing through them as you observe them “from above.”  This method magically reveals the sacred significance of your life’s events, your greater story.  Once recognized, these integrative insights evoke forgiveness and compassion for yourself and for others who may have harmed you in the past.  This process serves to remove shame and blame, the two major blocks to anyone’s healing.

Music is a universal passion that speaks directly to the soul in a completely nonjudgmental fashion.  The soul already knows this work!  Therefore, it is immediately recognized and loved by whose who experience it. (The Sacred Purpose of Being Human: A Journey Through the 12 Principles of Wholeness)

(I added the bold for emphasis because those words spoke to me in a very special way.)

*http://www.amazon.com/Sacred-Purpose-Being-Human-Principles/dp/0757303307/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1310649948&sr=8-1

A few more thoughts from Dr. Gerald May*:

We cannot do our own surrenders.  To try to turn it over to God prematurely would only be another mind trick, a way of trying to escape responsibility, testing rather than trusting.  But indeed God is in it with us all along, and wherever our choices are enabled to remain simple and our intent remains solid, empowerment comes through grace.  There is little else we can do except to keep on trying, and looking for God’s invitations and seeking simplicity . . . we must come to love our longing.

The implications of accepting pain are significant in dealing with specific addictions, but they become massive in terms of our basic attitude toward life.  In our society, we have come to believe that discomfort always means something is wrong . . . the truth is, we were never meant to be completely satisfied.

If God indeed creates us in love, of love, and for love, then we are meant for a life of joy and freedom, not endless suffering and pain.  But if God also creates us with an inborn longing for God, then human life is also meant to contain yearning, incompleteness, and lack of fulfillment.  To live as a child of God is to live with love and hope and growth, but it is also to live with longing, with aching for a fullness of love that is never quite within our grasp.

Authentic spiritual wholeness, by its very nature, is open-ended.  It is always in the process of becoming, always incomplete.

Our fundamental dis-ease, then, is at once a precise neurological phenomenon and a most precious gift from God.  It is not a sign of something wrong, but of something more profoundly right than we could ever dream of.  It is no problem to be solved, no pathology to be treated, no disease to be cured.  It is our true treasure, the most precious thing we have.  It is God’s song of love in our soul. (Addiction and Grace, 178-180)

*http://www.amazon.com/Addiction-Grace-Spirituality-Healing-Addictions/dp/0061122432/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1310300409&sr=8-1

With gratitude to Father Richard Rohr for the following thought provoking words of wisdom:

We must rediscover the gift of free will.  I think its loss is at the bottom of the deconstruction of our society.  It is at the bottom of our cynicism.  Mature conscience only develops inside of free will, even the freedom to make mistakes and then take responsibility for them – from which we all grow.

Grace and freedom are totally correlative terms.  You cannot have one without the other.  Grace creates deep inner freedom and our very freedom to fail becomes another deep experience of grace, mercy, and acceptance.

From Richard’s daily Meditations for July 8, 2011.  I recommend that everyone subscribe to this wonderful series of daily meditations – visit http://cacradicalgrace.org – you will be glad you did.