Profound insight and wisdom from the Big Book*:

“The first requirement is that you see that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success.  On that basis we are almost always in collision with something or somebody, even though our motives may be good.  Most people try to live by self-propulsion.  Each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show: is forever trying to arrange the lights, the ballet, the scenery and the rest of the players in his own way.  If his arrangements would only stay put, if only people would do as he wishes, the show would be great.  Everybody, including himself, would be pleased.  Life would be wonderful.  In trying to make these arrangements our actor may sometimes by quite virtuous.  He may be kind, considerate, patient, generous; even modest and self-sacrificing.  On the other hand, he may be mean, egotistical, selfish and dishonest.  But, as with most humans, he is more likely to have varied traits.

What usually happens?  The show doesn’t come off very well.  He begins to think life doesn’t treat him right.  He decides to exert himself some more.  He becomes, on the next occasion, still more demanding or gracious, as the case may be.  Still the play does not suit him.  Admitting he may be somewhat at fault, he is sure that other people are more to blame.  He becomes angry, indignant, self-pitying.  What is his basic trouble?  Is he not really a self-seeker even when trying to be kind?  Is he not a victim of the delusion that he can wrest satisfaction and happiness out of this world if he only manages well?  Is it not evident to all the rest of the players that these are the things he wants?  And do not his actions make each of them wish to retaliate, snatching all they can get out of the show?  Is he not, even in his best moments, a producer of confusion rather than harmony?” (60-61)

To be continued in the next post . . .

*This quotation is from the chapter, “How It Works,” from The Original Manuscript of Alcoholics Anonymous.  It was this version that was distributed to friends and clleauges of The Fellowship’s founders to get comments and suggestions on what to change before sending it to the printer.” (58) – The Anonymous Press Mini Edition of Alcoholics Anonymous http://anonpress.org/